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‘Married-Single Mothers’ are Not Delusional – They Are Partner-Privileged

And by ‘married single mothers’ I mean married women with partners who like to refer to themselves as “single moms” when the hubby is off traveling, or they are “exhausted”. I just read this and it reminded me of the time one of the married/full-time employed/women in my life (who also happens to be a mother) had the audacity to tell me that she “was a single mother too” back when her husband was working longer hours and she was younger, raising their firstborn and trying to do a PhD at the same time. She told me this as I…

Words of Power: ‘Single Mother, Single Daughter’ by Karen McLaughlin

Just us two she and me no awkward third in our skippy-hop dance   parenting requires partnership one child one adult   we seesaw fulcrumed by our mutual dependance she, my sun; I, her earth   our jokes bewilder them our made-to-measure language lands as gibberish our clear collusion confuses   holding the wild and safe space for each other we are unaccountable (except to ourselves) free-range (queens of the snuggle zone) creators (making the world we need)   unwitting rebels daring to be without a he   *by Karen McLaughlin, ‘Single Mother, Single Daughter’. An excerpt from the book…

Single Motherhood is a Revolutionary Act

“In Popular culture, we have ‘the bachelor pad’ and ‘the bachelor lifestyle,’ but no such phrases for women. Women who live alone are objects of fear or pity, witches in the forest or Cathy comics. Even the current cultural popularity of female friendship still speaks to how unwilling we all are to accept women without a social framework; a woman who’s ‘alone’ is a woman having brunch with a bunch of other women. When a woman is truly alone, it is the result of a crisis – she is grieving, has lost something, is a problem to be fixed. The…

Feminists Take Note: Motherhood is Not (always) a Social Construct

Recently a woman in my social media circles posted a book she thought sounded interesting and should probably be read by more women: The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How it Has Harmed All Women. I will probably read it. Later. Sometime. In the future. Seeing it, and the subsequent conversations around it, inspired me though. One of the things I find interesting is that many radical and lesbian feminists like to argue that the condition of, or state of being in motherhood is a socially constructed ‘myth’, something to be avoided by women at all costs as it is one of…

The 108 Billion Dollars No One is Talking About

Solana Simpson Fresh from Belize, my ex shoots off an email about how yet again, he cannot afford to help with our two children’s school supply fees, not to mention their tuition (which is equal to the cost of, say, a trip to Belize for a week). He whined about having to get “discount housing” and “ride in other people’s cars.” I could only decipher that as rental cars, since you can’t drive to Belize. This was only one of many vacations this year. Five years ago, as a broken and falling-apart-divorcing woman, I walked into mediation with this man. I…

Should Single Mothers Give Up Their Children?

I’m a feminist. This is a feminist site. I am not in the business of silencing other women for their views and opinions. That being said, I am in the business of correcting some seriously off-base information if/when it is put out into the mediasphere, particularly when it pertains to the (mis)perception and treatment of women and children. In this case, single mothers. I just had the fortune (?) of watching a ridiculous video in which Father Albert (first time I’ve heard of him), a TV talk show host, sits down with Ann Coulter and listens as she spews conservative evangelical right…

What is Our Problem with Single Mothers?

Just yesterday, the UK’s Guardian news site published a video in which actor Libby Liburd poses the question above, and proceeds to talk about society’s demonisation of women who parent their children alone. In the video she notes, importantly, that much of what we take for granted and most of our assumptions about single motherhood are not only incorrect, but are in fact way off the mark. https://embed.theguardian.com/embed/video/commentisfree/video/2017/jan/04/what-is-our-problem-with-single-mothers-video In addition to the Guardian video (which is extremely timely), there is also the new anthology Single Mothers Speak on Patriarchy, in which 45 single mothers from all over the world contribute a variety…

What We Can Learn About Society’s Judgements of Single Mothers Through Its Humor

Humour. We all have our own tastes in comedy. We like different comedians, different shows, funny movies, et al. You can learn a lot about a person by getting to know what they think is funny. Take for instance, American society. Lol The Hyperbolic Single Mother Trope The Onion (an American satire rag) recently posted an article called: Single Woman With 3 Young Children Unaware She Subject of 984 Judgements Today. It uses a lot of hyperbole in its subtext that exaggerates many of the ways in which single mothers are judged, as well as several of the reasons behind…

It’s Time To Fight Back Against the Systemic-Historical Violence of Male Governance

Beyonce thinks girls run the world. I like her optimism, but it’s off-base. If women ran the world – if it was really true that we run the fucking world – 3.5 million female children in Turkey wouldn’t be in contractually-arranged rape relationships (child ‘marriage’), and the pregnant girls of Boko Haram wouldn’t have been abducted, impregnated, left alone to fend for themselves, and shamed by their community. We would be fucking safe from rape, from abuse, from misogynist social policies. We wouldn’t be scared for the safety of our children. We would be able to make more and better…

Life Hacks for NEW Single Mamas

I’ve been thinking about my experience of doing this a lot lately. Sometimes I think back to those first days, after coming home from the hospital, and I’m amazed at how this entire experience has evolved and moved me, deeply, on so many levels. I was alone throughout the entirety of my pregnancy; lived by myself, went to most of my doctor’s appointments by myself, save for the few times I was joined by an acquaintance who offered to be present mostly out of pity for me (I think). Things were very emotional for me; it was the deep of autumn,…